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Thread: TROUBLE's Diary

  1. #11
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    8)
    "Life's too short not to enjoy great tone."

    Some contend that rock 'n roll is bad for the body & bad for the soul
    Bad for the heart, bad for the mind, bad for the deaf & bad for the blind.
    It makes some men crazy and they talk like fools.
    Makes some men crazy and they start to drool.

  2. #12
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    I just got here at work this morning, I have the audit today. This sucks man. Willie (the auditor) has a bad case of B.O., I'm sure he will smell today as well. Bad part about it, I have to stick with him like stink on a monkey.

    Last night, my wife cut her finger moving the toaster. She was cooking a home cooked meal for my step-son. He is home from the Army. He was stationed in Germany for the last couple of years and now he has returned stateside. He won't be stationed in N.C. but he will be in Loisianna at Fort Polk. (closer than Germany anyway). He brought Christmas presents with him for us, that's good.

    I had to put the cat out on the deck last night so it could throw up a hairball. It starts to make a whining noise when it is ready to spew, so I reacted in time. This cat is made of money, I hate it. He has diabetes, so go figure on the vet bills and medicines. I voted to put him down for a dirt nap, I got overuled.

    My other dipwad step-son, (not the one from the Army, but the 17-year-old that lives with us), ruined my kitchen counter top last night. My wife had the dishwasher door open and was loading it. Matt (that's his name) comes running through the kitchen and trips over the door of the dishwasher. The dishwasher moved to one side and tore a place in the counter top. I hate him most of the time, he plays guitar also which is good, but I have to fight him to keep out of my stuff. At least he is scared to go into the closet.

    My daughter called me last night. I later found out that my ex-wife had her call so she could jump on the phone and beg for more money. She's wanting me to pay for 2 sets of pictures of the kids, which I have never seen. She wants me to pay for 2 yearbooks, which I have never seen. She wants me to pay for a new shirt for my son. I thought that was what child support was for. I pay her every month rain or shine, I've never missed a month, even when I wasn't required to pay, I payed, I want to take care of my kids, but I think she just wants extra money for Christmas because she does this every year. I hate her, she's even re-married and still drains me like a leech. She never supported my playing because she hated me going out to clubs for gigs, she swore that I was there picking up women, well.

    After the first piece of womanhood I recieved, I knew then it was going to be a big part of my life. I've settled down now. (passes morning gas)
    I'm going upstairs to find something to eat, I forgot to send out for Krispy Kremes. Willie will be here at 8:00 a.m. and the stinkfest will start. This guy is a well trained spin-doctor, I love it.
    -Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful.

  3. #13
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    Surprisingly, I find all this interesting.

    Marmite can be eaten straight from the jar on the finger. Or in a hot drink.
    http://www.fendertalk.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic581_3.gif

  4. #14
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    Default you really sat on the toliet that long?

    Is that a real two hours on the crapper? I mean like after 5 minutes I need to have a ****e or get off the pot. Man you got some staying power.

  5. #15
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    Default Re: you really sat on the toliet that long?

    Quote Originally Posted by Odenshaw
    Is that a real two hours on the crapper? I mean like after 5 minutes I need to have a *Bad Typo of a German Word* or get off the pot. Man you got some staying power.
    Yes, it is for real, it's dedication.
    -Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful.

  6. #16
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    Well, the audit is going fine. Willie grew a thick beard and he still stinks, some things never change. I offered him some gum and he declined, I then insisted, he took a piece. I know why he declined the first time, he looks stupid chewing gum. Most people I know either chew on the right side or the left side, Willie chews in the middle, like a rabbit per say. It freshened up his breath a little anyway.

    Last night we ordered pizza and I got really bad heartburn from it. Between the heartburn and bad dreams last night, I'm draggin' this morning. I had nightmares about Keef Richards again last night. He keeps chasing me. When I feel that I have lost him, he comes up out of nowhere. I was dreaming I was on the way to the shower and he was in the linen closet. I ran to the shower and turned on the water, I seen his fingers wiggling out of the water spout. I shut my eyes really tight and he went away.

    I opened the newspaper this morning and there was a sales ad from "Best Buy" (an electronics store). They were advertising televisions and on the screens were Keef and Mick.

    I got to go and join the audit again..........
    -Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful.

  7. #17
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    Fascinating.

    I just saw all this for the first time. Trouble, you and I have some things in common, and I find that disturbing.

    The hardest work I ever did was as a laborer at a phosphate plant in Southeastern Idaho back in 1980.
    I went to work at 4pm and got off work at 5am. One night I went in to take a dump and sat down and the next thing I know I wake up and looked at my watch and it was over to hours since I went in there. I thought oh crap I'm gonna get fired and jumped up and immediately fell straight down next to the crapper.

    My lower body had gone to sleep. I thought for a moment I was paralyzed, I couldn't move. I just lay there with my legs out under the crapper door. Finally the blood started to move.
    Turns out that was the first time I fell asleep on that job. Those hours and the work really would kick the stuffing out of me.

    And as for clowns, they disgust me.

    Two things I hate are clowns and magic tricks and magicians.

  8. #18
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    Lucky, I'm glad I'm not the only one that hates clowns. My son also hates clowns, we took him to the Circus when he was small and I think it messed him up for life. I don't think Eddie Van Halen likes clowns either, because I remember in the early '80s, he used to wear a shirt with bozo the clown with a slash through him to say "no bozos". Jimi didn't like them either. The words to "The Wind Cries Mary" dictates that fact. "After all the jacks have been put in their boxes, and the clowns have been put to bed". He don't like them up and stirring around n' stuff.

    When I was younger, some of my friends and I went to the Fair and we dropped some LSD beforehand. We walked up on an organ grinder with a monkey that was taking money out of peoples hands that they were giving him. This monkey was in a little clown suit, it was a horrifying experience.

    Speaking of going to Fairs and carnivals and such, I used to love to go through the "Haunted Houses" that you had to walk through. I got a kick out of actually scaring the people that worked in there that are trying to scare people. We didn't have to worry about long lines. Tip # 947: Carry a can of Campbells Chicken and Stars soup with you, get a mouthful and spew it all over the place in line, people will be out of there like a bucket of chicken at a Puff Daddy concert.

    I'm off of work tomorrow since the audit is ending today. I've got some more Christmas shopping to do, I hope it is not like last year. I am totally against hitting a woman but I came close to doing it last year. I'm walking in the mall, O.K.? I enter the video game store they have there and I was going to purchase a game system for my son. I walked up to the counter and told the dude that I needed the game system he had up on the shelf behind him. He said, "You are lucky, this is our last one", and he handed it to me. I didn't know it but it was on sale. Well, he was getting ready to ring it up when this lady came in and she was wanting one of the same game systems. The clerk told her that the one I had in my hands was the last one. She said, "That's mine!" I said, "How do you figure?" She said, "They were holding that for me!" I said, "Well I'm holding it now." The clerk chimed in and said, "Ma'am, we don't hold sale items for customers, it is a first come first serve deal."
    At that time, the lady actually tried to get the game system out of my arms. I held it up over her head and she was jumpin' for it n'stuff. She calmed down as the clerk was explaining to her that the advertisement was while supplies last. She tried to get it out of my arms again, I told the clerk, "You better do something with her before I pop her." He said, "Ma'am, you are going to have to leave or I will call security". Finally she left all mad and stood outside the shop in the mall stomping mad and pointing. I'm sure that Santa Claus was not very happy with her behavior.
    -Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful.

  9. #19
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    I'll bet the ***** likes clowns too. She probably has a collection of them, little clown curio china hutch thing. I'll bet she's got one made out of crystal. I loathe curio crystal clowns.
    They make me want to puke.

    You should have followed her in your car to make her scared.

    Damn clown lovers :evil:

    I'll bet Saddam liked clowns

  10. #20
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    Saddam was a clown, a chicken clown on top of that.

    That very same day, I had purchased a new gun safe and was going to pick it up. When I got to the gun shop, I started to fold down the back seats in my GMC Jimmy. One side folded down fine, but the other side would not budge. I fought it for a few minutes and looked underneath the seat. There was a little yellow plastic cup that my daughter had dropped evidently, it was wedged in the hinge works of the seat. I put my hand under there to try to pull it out, and I cut a big gash in my thumb. It needed stitches, but who has time to go get stitches? The two guys from the gun shop are wheeling my safe out on the dolly thigie and one of them said, "Dude, you are bleeding". I gave him a stern look and they just put the safe in the GMC and left. I helped them though and suddenly I was wondering how I was going to unload this when I get home.

    I get home with the safe, my step-son is there to help me, we managed to get it out of the vehicle onto the driveway. I run to go get my neighbor and he helps us take it into the house and place it. He said, "Dude, You are bleeding". I issued another stern look, he left.

    My wife starts raising hell saying that I needed to go get stitches, we dressed it out in a butterfly bandage and I was set. Meanwhile, my 10 year old son was staying the weekend with us, he came upstairs and reported to me that something has happened to the garage door in the basement. He had somehow wedged a basketball under the garage door and it tore the whole garage door opener from the ceiling n'stuff. I then started to dring beers.

    Now back to the safe, as I was attending the situation in the basement, Matt (my 17-year old stepson) told me that he had made a huge mistake. He had somehow locked the combination papers and stuff inside the safe. I had to call the safe company and give them the serial number of the safe and call the gun shop for them to comfirm it to the safe company before they would give me my combination. I started drinking more beer, a lot of it.

    The cat somehow got up in the christmas tree and toppled it over in the floor, I just sat and looked at it as I sipped on beer. I had a run-in with a wild shopper lady, I cut my thumb down to the bone, my garage door opener was destroyed, I fell from the steps of the basement trying to see what happened down there, I wasn't hurt though. That was a bad day.
    -Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful.

 

 

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