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Thread: Lawyer Joke

  1. #1
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    Default Lawyer Joke

    Doctors love a good lawyer joke.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
    The defense attorney nearly died.
    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
    'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
    The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.

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  3. #2
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    Default

    Lol!

    Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk

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    Default

    Haha!

    Do you know why California has the largest percentage of lawyers per capita, and New Jersey has the most hazardous waste dumps?

    New Jersey got first choice.
    Some contend that rock 'n roll is bad for the body & bad for the soul
    Bad for the heart, bad for the mind, bad for the deaf & bad for the blind.
    It makes some men crazy and they talk like fools.
    Makes some men crazy and they start to drool.

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  6. #4
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SAguitar View Post
    Haha!

    Do you know why California has the largest percentage of lawyers per capita, and New Jersey has the most hazardous waste dumps?

    New Jersey got first choice.
    That is so bad!!! But so good...
    Bottle Rocket Scientist.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAguitar View Post
    Haha!

    Do you know why California has the largest percentage of lawyers per capita, and New Jersey has the most hazardous waste dumps?

    New Jersey got first choice.
    The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.

  8. #6
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    Default

    A good one, Mike


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    What's black and brown & looks good on a lawyer?

    (Three possible answers: Rottweiler, Doberman, or German Shepherd)
    The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.

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  11. #9
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    Default

    What is difference between a computer and a lawyer?
    - Well, computers every 18 months become twice as efficient and half cheaper.

    Or this one:

    One farmer came to a lawyer, so he would be worried:
    - You have to take me, my friend, I'm in trouble.
    - What kind?
    "Oh, yeah, you know, my silly cow entered into my neighbor's meadow and eaten all the grass, so now I do not know where I will or how.
    "We'll be fine - get ready right now, we'll sue him!
    - But why? How?
    - Because your cow was used as a mower! - explain the lawyer.


  12. #10
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    Hope yer not being sued, Mike!!
    Bottle Rocket Scientist.....

 

 
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